I’m the type of person who always gets what I want.
At least that’s what I’ve told myself. And in some ways that statement is entirely true… or a little embellished to say the least. So here’s what I should have actually started with.
I’m the type of person who always gets what I need.
And here begins one of my many anecdotes on the unexpected lessons learned from getting what you want.
At the end of last year, I did what I’d routinely do in all the years prior—make a vision board. I meticulously plotted how I wanted 2023 to unfold, all my dreams of grandeur compiled in a 11×9″ Canva portrait. But this time I wanted to do something different. I was looking for an anchor. By chance I came across the Year Compass and it provided exactly what I waslooking for… a single word. Once of the prompts for the Compass suggested using one word that we’d rely on for the year 2023. A word that we could call on for strength; a crutch if you will. A friendly reminder that will steer you back on path always.
So I chose a word. I went with “brave”. Yes, yes, spare me the eye rolls on how cliche it is. Believe me I know. But that’swhat I went with, because that’s what I needed to be to be able to handle 2023.
I feel like I have a pretty good lease on life. I have a good job, a nice apartment, a car. I can tick a lot off on the “life is ok” list. But there’s so much more to life isn’t there. There’s so much I want to see and do and be. And I felt like I was missing out because I was being passive. At least, I knew I was being passive. I am absolutely the type of person to wait until the very last minute so that there is only one possible option so I don’t have to be decisive. I am absolutely the typeof person to hope that things fall through so I don’t have try anything new. I am absolutely the type of person who will create some pseudo reason not to go somewhere even though I really want to.
So how does this tie in with getting what I need? Hold on, because I’ll get there in a minute. 2023 came around, and we’re four months in so I do what I do so often, I take stock. And it dawned on me, I have gotten exactly what I asked for. I asked to be brave and the situations that have arisen since the start of 2023 have called on me to explore depths of my braveness that I didn’t know exist.
Tangent (but not really), I’ve always known I was resilient. It is (or used to be) my defining trait. I can survive anything,but only because I’ve had to. Not because I was fearless, but because I’m too stubborn to give in. It’s akin to brute force and I can only describe my tenacity as the inescapable result of always being stuck between a rock and hard place (really I had no other option). So I was resilient, sure, but I wasn’t brave. And braveness I’ve realized, at least for me, is much calmer and softer in approach. It’s not brute, but the entire opposite; it’s gentle, it’s intuitive, and serene.
It’s a sense of being rather than doing. A sense of knowing rather than feeling.
I came across a post recently where an older woman explained that she declared her 2023 to be a year of excellence and all her experiences since reflected that. That’s when I realized that I had received exactly what I asked for. I asked to be brave, so how else would I get to explore or display that braveness if I was never placed in situations where I had no other choice?
I thought about this juxtaposed against my other ‘wishes’. For better or for worst I’d always, indeed, get what I needed. IfI asked for patience, bet your bottom dollar that I’d be put in situations that tested how much I was willing to wait. If Iasked for love, I would be put in situations that tempted me to get angry instead. If I asked for peace, I’d lose the things that distracted from achieving it. You see where I’m going with this right?
There’s this concensus that God answers a specific prayer above all else, “remove everything that no longer serves me”.It’s true—in a sense—but I think that’s because we pay more attention to what we lose than what we gain. If we took stock more often you’d see that, just like me, you always get what you need; sometimes it just looks a lot different than what you expected.
Anyways I saw that all to say, I hope you’re brave this year. I hope you have the fearless courage to go after everything you desire even if it’s outside of your comfort zone. Actually, especially if it’s outside your comfort zone. And I hope you’re serious about the things you ask for. I hope you can discern the opportunities that show up as a catalyst exhibit all the traits you wish you had.
And just to further prove my solidarity, I’ll be driving to the beach tomorrow on my own. Well I hope I do. This is being drafted the night before the would-be trip. And like I said, I am absolutely the type of person to go back on my promise. I hope I’m brave enough not to though. We’ll see.
Post update: So I am going to the beach, but with a friend. While I was getting ready she told me she was available (so see, not a cop out). And I’m always down to spend time with my friends so win-win. I’m still committed to exploring other opportunities to be brave and try new things. Right now that looks a little like sitting with myself a lot more and dealing with all the discomforts, which to be honest, is another blog post entirely.
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