Love is perhaps the most talked about emotion or more accurately phenomenon that exists. Regardless of the chaos in the world and the seemingly deniability of it, it is. You love your parents, your crazy family, your annoying friends, that pet cat who acts more like the pampered Prince or Persia than any animal and in some cases you manage to love yourself. Then in other cases you experience LOVE. This is a level of emotional intimacy that you may have with another person. You think you have butterflies and you start planning ahead and choosing baby names all in the name of LOVE. Now what is likely missing from this equation is the LIKE .
– What? But if I love you then without a doubt I like you… Right ? – No
Love and Like are independent occurrences and the presence of love (given its perceived precedence) does not guarantee the presence of like.
– Well love is more important anyway… Right – I’m sorry no.
There are a lot of relationships that exist where one person or both don’t like the other . It’s not that they really dislike each other or anything but in some cases there was not any attempt to get to know the other person. There was no friendship before the relationship and you realize ok this might be a bit over bearing. But of course you love that person; there is no doubt in your mind or my mind that you do. If you’re still confused let me give you an example. Let’s talk about your crazy family again, more specifically that crazy aunt who always manages to get on your nerve- you love her yes. But can you stand her ? Do you like her? No . Ok, maybe you’re saying but that’s just how family is so let me drive it home a little more. That boy or girl you’re currently talking to and you love him/ her. Like I said, there is no doubt in my mind that you do , but do you like this person and in like I mean is there a friendship between you two. How much about this person do you really know ?
Now, I’m not saying oh you’re not friends it’s time to go, it’s actually the opposite. I’m actually saying you need to develop a friendship between each other. Learn each other’s likes and dislikes, disgusting habits, fears, aspirations and then reinforce that like with love. I’m no relationship guru , in no way shape or form but what I do know is that in more cases than not persons jump into relationships without establishing a friendship first and that has consequences . You end up loving them and feel that’s all is needed but further down you realize there are really some things that are too much and you’re not happy . Yet, you stay , because LOVE. This doesn’t go for just regular relationships , in marriages especially a strong friendship between both parties is essential to its success. Should you speak to any married couple they will tell you that there are times when the love fades but because of the friendship that they have built and sustained they were able to to make it work.
Moreover, it’s not just like, there are other things in a relationship that are just as important if not more so than love in a relationship.
trust
understanding
communication
compromise
an identity of self
respect
And the list is not confined to those mentioned above. All in all what I’m saying is that a friendship is extremely important in a relationship and this is just a friendly reminder to build, maintain and continually evaluate it to make the best out of your relationships.
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